Reminiscing in the Mines
by TookSisters
Summary: To pass the three longs days that the Fellowship spends in the mines, the hobbits tell of their childhood in the Shire. A collection of humorous short stories about when the hobbits were young.
1. Bilbo's Adventure

The nine companions walked through the long dark corridor. It seemed to Pippin that each foot step was loud enough to alert all the orcs in the world to their presence. Something scurried in the darkness and the hobbit's breath caught in his throat, before he realized that it had only been Merry tossing a pebble he had picked up. He sighed. This creepy old place was setting him on edge.

'I don't care what Gimli says about how welcoming it used to be. Right now, it is scary and creepy and that's all that matters.' Pippin thought as he shivered, half from the cold and half from the thoughts of all the ghosts that could be haunting that place. Yes, Pippin was very scared of ghosts- and being in a mine where numerous dwarves had recently been killed wasn't helping.

"Gandalf?" Merry piped up. The wizard leading the group looked back for a moment.

"Yes Merry?" He asked, almost warily. After all, the last time Merry had asked something, it had been if Gandalf could summon him a carrot to make up for that one that pippin stole. This had lead into a heated discussion about the use of wizards if they couldn't (or if they just wouldn't) conjure up food.

"How long are we supposed to be here?"

"Three days if we're quick, Mr. Brandybuck. Which means no lagging behind." He said.

Merry groaned and turned to Pippin. "Three days! did you hear that, Pip?"

"Yes, Merry, he said it quite clearly."

"What do you think we should do?"

Pippin thought for a moment. "We could play a game."

Gandalf's spoke from the front of the group, "If I see any more rocks flying around, Peregrine Took, I shall turn you into a carrot and hand you over to Merry." The two hobbits winced, although one looked like they were considering wether or not it would be worth it to give up their cousin for a carrot.

"I would suggest story-telling," Frodo said from behind them, "but I don't know of any without some sort of evil creature in it, and I don't think it would be wise to discuss those types of things in here."

"Right you are, Mister Frodo. Although I could do with a good story right about now, or something to lift my spirits." Sam glanced into the dark shadows around them and Pippin nodded in agreement.

"Then why not speak of happier times," Legolas' clear voice joined the conversation. "Tell us of this 'Shire' you are from, anything to take us away from this... Place." Gimli frowned at the elf's obvious dislike of Moria.

"I would put it differently," the dwarf said, "but I have heard snippets about this strange homeland and it sounds interesting enough."

The four hobbits looked at each other, each trying to see if someone else had thought of something to talk about. There was a long span of silence in which their own footsteps echoed around them again.

"I suppose... We could talk about our childhood in the Shire." Frodo said. Sam, Merry, and Pippin each bobbled their head some and muttered approval. This was followed by another awkward quiet. Eventually seeing that no one else had any intention of speaking, Pippin began.

"Well, whenever I used to visit Frodo and Sam in Hobbiton, I always wanted to play a game with them." Frodo and Sam nodded, remembering the 6-year-old Pippin who followed them around. "At first I was too young to actually understand their big adventure ones, so they didn't play very often with me."

"We did play with you, just not when you were really little." Frodo protested.

"Of course you did Frodo." Merry said sarcastically.

"Yes, yes, well, anyways, the first game I really remember playing at Bag End was the one where you and Sam were burglars. Frodo gave me a nice little rock and told me to hide and guard it, because they were going to try to steal it. It was a really pretty stone- all gray with white flecks on it, and I really didn't want you to get it. So I went and I hid it in a flower pot and stood guard by it. Sure enough, soon there were two, curly, hobbit heads sticking out from a bush across the garden. From there it pretty much turned into a game of tag. One of you would run at me, I would try to run forward and tag you, only to realize that the other one of you was sneaking behind me to try and get to the flower pot, so I'd run back to tag them, then I'd have to go after the first one again..." Pippin paused here and frowned. "That was sort of one-sided don't you think?"

Sam laughed. "Yeah, I remember that. What game even was that? One of Bilbo's adventures, right?"

"Yes, Bilbo's encounter with Gollum." Frodo said as he smiled in remembrance, "Poor Pip. I don't think you even knew you were playing the role of the villain."

Pippin stopped walking, causing those behind him to stumble as well.

"I was Gollum?!"


	2. Mushrooms and Bacon and Rainbows

Diclaimer: We do not own the Lord of the Rings or anything else of J.R.R. Tolkeins. No copyright infringement intended.

"You never told me I was Gollum!" Pippin scowled at Frodo and Sam who were chuckling a little.

"We thought you knew!" Sam said.

"And besides," Frodo remarked, "It wasn't nearly as bad as some of the things you and Merry made me do."

"What did we make you do?" Merry asked, now curious.

"Remember Rainbow?" He muttered. The sound was barely audiable, yet his companions all seemed to hear it.

Pippin's scowl faded to be replaced by a grin. "Yeah, yeah! That was part of Mushroomir and Bacon!"

"I remember that!" Merry shouted, only to be hushed by Aragorn.

"Try to speak quietly." He gently reminded the hobbit. "We don't know what is down here."

"I remember that!" Merry whispered again. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Bacon and... Mushroomir?" Boromir asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Bacon and Mushroomir." Merry repeated excitedly.

"I still can't believe you guys made me do that." Frodo cast a not-too-friendly look at the two smiling hobbits, and then sighed. " I guess I'll tell this one. One summer, I was off to visit Merry and Pippin in Buckland, for a family reunion type gathering, and the second day I was there, they managed to rope me into one of their games."

"You wanted to join!" Merry interrupted. Sam shushed him.

"Yes, but not as Rainbow!" Pippin snickered as Frodo continued, "Apparently, Merry and Pippin had some game where there was an incredible ranger named Mushroomir who had an apprentice named Bacon, and the two went around saving innocent hobbits. In this instance, I... Rainbow.... was captured by a dragon and in need of rescuing. Of course, the whole thing was improvised on a big tarp in the middle of some field by the main road, and by the time we finished, there was a group of maybe 20 hobbits watching."

Gimli gave a good, hearty laugh. "That must have been interesting. Who played the dragon?"

"Pippin." Frodo replied, "Pippin, Bacon, at that point, was with me when I was captured, and told Merry, er, Mushroomir. Once they got to the lair, Merry did the fighting and Pip was the dragon."

"That was one of our best ones! It was in front of a live audience!" Merry exclaimed, struggling to keep his voice quieter than before.

"Easy for you to say! I was in Buckland not a year ago, when some one asked if I still went by Rainbow!" Pippin and Merry both burst into laughter at this, and Frodo couldn't stop the grin creeping onto his face as well.

It was short lived, however, as Sam piped up merrily, "At least they forgot that awful rumor about you shoving Mr. Boffin in the Brandywine."

"Sam!"

"But it's true, ! That was a terrible rumor- everyone said that you, Mr. Merry, and Mr. Boffin were going along in a wagon, when you and Merry hopped out, and you turned around and gave it a nice push, sending Mr. Boffin flying into the river!"

Frodo seemed at a loss for words.

"I must say, Frodo," Gandalf stated from the the front of the group, his eyes twinkling, "I never took you for that sort of hobbit."

"That's not what happened!" The hobbit protested, "I don't know who started that rumor, but that's all it was: a rumor!"

"Ah, it's alright, lad," Gimli said as he fell in step next to the ring bearer in order to give him a thump on the back, "We all have a different side to us and do rash things occasionally."

"But it's not true! Listen, Merry, Folco, and I were in a wagon- Mrs. Brandybuck had been pulling us along the riverbank, when she stopped and said it was time for luncheon. Merry crawled out, and I followed, but I sort of jumped out instead, and the whole thing went rolling backwards, with Folco still inside! We fetched him out of the water as fast as we could; he was fine, and I apologized, and everything was alright. He had practically forgotten by the time I left the next day. Then, a few days after I'm back in Hobbiton, I hear someone talking about how I tried to drown one of the Boffins by pushing him into the Brandywine! That afternoon, Bilbo even sat me down and asked if I had something to say for myself! The whole thing was completely ridiculous."

"Who started the rumor?" Aragorn inquired, and, although it did not show on his face, his eyes danced with amusement.

"No one knows!" Frodo cried, exasperated. "I tried all I could, but I kept on reaching dead ends!"

"Oh, well that's easy!" Pippin chimed in matter-of-factly, "The day after you left, Merry came running down the main street shouting out the whole story; You and him were taking Folco along the Brandywine in his favorite wagon, when he stole your cookies and ate them. Then you pushed him in. Right, Merry?"

Merry went incredibly pale as Frodo turned to him, and was very glad that looks couldn't kill, otherwise he'd be roasting in Mount Doom.


	3. Wagons and Snowballs

**Diclaimer: We do not own the Lord of the Rings or anything else of J.R.R. Tolkeins. No copyright infringement intended.**

Gimli laughed uproariously as the rest of the Fellowship chuckled, their fears of the dark mines being eased slightly by the hobbit's tales.

"This 'Shire' certainly is interesting, as were you halflings when you were young." Legolas said, eyes sparkling merrily.

"Aye, with that I can agree!" Gimli said, "Come! Tell us more!"

The hobbits grinned, each one with different funny stories popping into his head (and Merry sighed in relief that Frodo was done plotting to destroy him). Sam spoke up first.

"Well, since we're one the topic of wagons..." he glanced at Frodo, "May I?"

"You didn't seem to have a problem with bringing up that last topic, Samwise," Frodo laughed, "so I don't see why you should hesitate now!"

Sam flushed slightly. "Beggin' your pardon, Mister Frodo." He turned to the rest of the Fellowship to give them some background information. "Well, you see, Bag End is built towards the top of a rather large hill, and so outside the road is a pretty steep slope. Now, when Mister Frodo was little, he had a nice big wagon that he liked to be pushed around in.

"It was a very fine day when Mr. Frodo walked up to me and asked if he would like to join me in going down the hill with him in his wagon. I said no, for it didn't seem a very safe thing to do, you see?" He paused here and most of the company nodded in understanding, except for Frodo, who pointedly avoided eye contact with anyone. "Well then Mister Frodo said that that was fine, but he was going to do it himself and that he needed my help in giving him a starting push. I protested and told him that he should do it, but he assured me that it was perfectly fine, and then next thing I know he's off down the hill goin' faster and faster.

"I started to get worried, but told myself that knew what he was doing- he'd told me so before. So that made me calm down a little, but the next moment he was starting to swerve! The wagon went flying off the road and flipped over and landed upside-down in a pile of rocks in someone's garden." Here Sam added that he believed that the rocks were there because the hobbits in question were going to put in a little rock bed, but it hadn't been made yet and so they were just sitting there, and he had heard his Gaffer talking about it that morning. Pippin gave a little cough and Sam got back on track.

"I really didn't know what to do," he continued, "I went running down there as fast as I could, and found crawling out from under the upturned wagon, laughing and telling me to help him pull the wagon back up the hill so he could do it again. Well, after I checked to make sure he was alright, which by some miracle he was, I gave him a right scolding for putting himself in danger like that and told him not to do it again." The hobbit nodded his head astutely, light curly hair bouncing up and down.

"I really was fine." Frodo said, "It was just that I had been planning on slowing myself down by putting my foot outside the wagon and on the ground, but once I was actually there, it seemed like that would hurt. Then, of course, Bilbo took away that wagon and wouldn't get me a new one for years, and by that time I had outgrown them."

"Ah, one is never too old for a nice wagon." Merry said.

"I agree, Merry." Pippin piped up. "Though I now believe that it is time for you to tell a story, seeing as we all already have, and you're the only one who hasn't."

"Mm, I have been gathering my wits-"

"Well that shouldn't take too long, now should it! After all, there's really not that much to gather!" Pippin cried, beaming.

Merry scowled and continued. "I have been gathering my wits and have decided to tell the wonderful story that the three of you seem to have forgotten.

"It was one of the times when Pip and I were visiting Frodo for Yule, and we went outside the day after our arrival to see that it had snowed over night and there was a good 6 inches worth of snow on the ground. Naturally, the first thing we did was make a snow hobbit, but after that we decided to go play a game in our little 'fort.'"

"I remember that!" Frodo cried, "It wasn't a proper fort, just a spot behind some bushes, but we did play there a lot when we were younger, didn't we."

"Aye, Mister Frodo," Sam's eyes sparkled as he spoke, "There are certainly some interesting stories revolving around their."

"Ahem!" Pippin cleared his throat loudly. "I do believe that-"

"Peregrine Took! If you are incapable of talking quietly than do not talk at all!"

Pippin winced at Gandalf's voice. "Sorry..." he mumbled, then continued in a loud whisper. "I do believe that you all have forgotten something very important- we're supposed to be listening to Merry."

"Thank you, Pip." Merry replied, and went on with his story. "As I was saying, it had snowed a good bit and we were all squeezed into our fort listening to Frodo tell one of his stories. Then suddenly, Folco, Odo, and Fatty came bursting through the bushes, snowballs in hand, shouting and screaming like no tomorrow. Well, we scattered quickly enough, and soon an all-out snowball fight was going on. It was rather hard though, because they were all so much older than us, well, older than me and Pip, at least, I'm not as sure about Frodo and Sam, but anyways, it wasn't going too well. So we retreated into Bag End.

"Luckily, Bilbo had anticipated soggy, snow-covered, hobbits coming into the house, and had laid down sheets all over the floors so we wouldn't do that much damage. Well, then we realized that we were stuck. We couldn't go back out the front door, because Folco and them were sure to get us if we did, and there wasn't any back door we could get out through, either. That was when Frodo suggested we go into his room, which was on the opposite side of the hill, and climb out the window."

"Climb out the window?" Gimli asked, "Hah! You certainly had some spirit, Frodo-lad!" Frodo laughed.

"Yes, I did sometimes use that window as a get away whenever anyone whom I did not particularly want to see came by. My uncle would go to my room, knock, and open the door only to find me gone. I would show up an hour or so later saying that I went on a walk. It was a great way to avoid the S.B.s." He paused and smiled, remembering when Bilbo had told him about the looks on Lobelia's face when she came by complaining about wanting to have a word with Frodo, only to find him missing.

"Well, anyway," Merry kept going, "We went into Frodo's room and first Frodo went out, to show how it was done, then Sam went, then me, and then Pip. Of course, by the time Pip was getting out, Frodo, Sam, and I were already racing towards the front of the smial to ambush the others. We actually were doing fairly well, and were forcing Folco and the others back towards the main road. We got so involved, that we didn't notice that Pip was missing. That is, until we heard a loud 'Hey!' from the side. All six of us turned towards the sound, to see 10 year-old Pip holding the biggest snowball I had ever seen over his head. It had to have been at least half his size! That did it. Soon Folco, Odo, and Fatty were running off down the road screaming their heads off, all because of little Pip."

Pippin grinned. "It's a good thing they ran then, too, because that was so heavy there was no way I could have thrown it!"

"Ah!" Gimli cried, "Winning through trickery- a battle tactic still used by experts to the day!"

"Are you suggesting that Pippin is a battle tactics expert, Master Dwarf?" Gandalf asked, smiling. The fellowship all turned to look at the hobbit in question, who had stopped listening a while ago and started to think about his next meal. He suddenly realized that there were eight pairs of eyes focused on him.

"W-what? Did my stomach growl? I am hungry..."

The fellowship immediately felt foolish for even considering the thought.


	4. The Ghost of the Old Dog

Being lost never was fun. Especially not when it came to being lost in a big, dark, cold, abandoned mine. Eventually the fellowship decided to settle down while Gandalf sorted out the way to go.

On the cold hard floor of Moria, Pippin squirmed to get comfortable. "You might not believe it, but I do know a thing or two about fighting, don't I Merry? Remember that time we scared off the ghost?"

Merry frowned. "What ghost?"

"At Uncle Bilbo's. Frodo was there. Remember, Frodo?"

Frodo tilted his head in slight shake. "I honestly have no idea what you're talking about."

"We were at some party and it was boring so the three of us snuck off to the storage room," Pippin explained. "And Merry started telling ghost stories and one showed up right there and scared us all to death."

Merry straightened up. "I remember that now, Pip, though that's not quite what happened."

Frodo smiled. "No, it wasn't." He pulled his cloak around him. "Merry and I wanted to get away from the Sackville-Bagginses, who were convinced Bilbo had hidden away some secret treasures, and were trying to get me to reveal its location. We managed to sneak away quietly enough, though we caught Pippin's attention, and he followed us to the storage room. Pippin was young at the time—young enough to copy Merry's every movement, though too young to be much use for any of his schemes—and he was starting to get on my poor cousin's nerves."

A small smile spread across Boromir's face as he raised an eyebrow. "Can't imagine that."

Aragorn and Legolas gave each other a knowing look while Sam bit back his laughter. Merry grinned at Pippin, his eyes full of amusement.

"So when he followed us into hiding, Merry decided to try and scare him off," Frodo continued, ignoring the interruption. "He made up some story about an old dog that lived in the hillside before Bag End had been built, who guarded the land even in death. Sometimes—Merry said—in the quiet of the night, the dog could still be heard wandering his territory."

Frodo paused, allowing the silence of Moria to add a dramatic flair to his story. Pippin gave a small shiver in the darkness that went unnoticed by all but Merry.

"At just that moment," Merry said, leaning forward and lowering his voice, "there came a loud crunching sound. I thought it was Frodo, aiding me to get rid of Pippin."

Frodo leaned back, his eyes shining in the dim light. "And I thought it was Merry, embellishing his story."

Merry smiled. "Less than five seconds of hearing it, Pippin jumped so high, I thought he'd hit the ceiling, and took off running just as fast as he could."

"I wasn't scared," Pippin insisted, "You're exaggerating. I just heard it was time for cake and I wanted to get there before everyone ate it all!"

"Is that what you tell yourself, Pip?"

Sam turned to Frodo. "But if it wasn't you and it wasn't Merry, what was making that awful racket?"

Frodo and Merry's eyes met and they shared a knowing smile. "That's exactly what I wondered," Frodo said. "Merry and I fell silent and waited. We heard the noise again. Sort of a crunching, it was, and it was coming from inside an old Wardrobe. Grab that candlestick—I told Merry—and we'll sneak up on it. So as carefully and quietly as possible, Merry grabbed the candlestick and I grabbed the Wardrobe doorknob, and on the count of three we pried it open and you won't believe what we saw."

"It was Bilbo!" Merry cut in. "With a plate full of scones!"

"He must have wanted to get away from the Saxville-Bagginses just as much as we had," Frodo said. "For he was hiding from them as well. 'Come in, be quiet, and shut the door behind you,' he said. He'd even brought pillows for us to sit on and enough food to keep us full for hours."

"Bilbo?" Said Gimli. "Who has faced trolls and dragons and fought in the Great Battle of the Five Armies was hiding in a wardrobe from a couple of Hobbits?"

Gimli and Aragorn laughed and Frodo could have sword he heard Gandalf chuckle.

"Hobbits," Legolas said with a slight shake of his head. "I'll never understand them."


	5. The Flaming Took

"Beggin' your pardon, Mr. Frodo, but you said Pippin was too young to be of any use to Mr. Merry's scheming, but that ain't so. I seem to recall a flaming Took scaring off half the Shire at Bilbo's 90th Birthday party."

"Ah, yes," Frodo stated, "That was Merry's doing. Merry, would you like to tell about when you set Pippin on fire?"

Gimli chortled. "I must say, I have some friends of the family I dislike, but what an act!"

"I did not set him on fire!" Merry cried. "At least it was not intentional! Right, Pip?" He turned to his cousin for help.

Pippin, who had been laughing at Merry's discomfort a moment before, sobered up instantly and put on an expression of mock innocence and worry. "But Merry, I was so young at the time, I don't remember. And after that last story, I'm starting to remember how much you didn't like me following you around. Tell me you didn't try to get rid of me once and for all, cousin!"

"Knock it off! You remember as well as I do. Besides, it's Frodo's fault, really."

Frodo started to lift his hands in protest, but before he could get a word out, Marry added in haste, "Letting himself get cornered by those nasty Sackville-Bagginses. It was some family gathering in Bag End- nearly all the hobbits related to the Old Took came. Naturally there were the Baggins and the Brandybucks and, obviously, Tooks. And wherever there is something going on at Bag End, the Sackville-Bagginses manage to sneak in! So there I was, minding my own business-"

"Not for one moment do I believe that Merry Brandybuck was just 'minding his own business," Pippin said.

Merry huffed in response. "Well, fine. I had just snuck into the store room and grabbed a nice batch of Fallawater apples, but _after _that, I was back in the main room, minding my own business, and what did I see but my dear cousin Frodo cornered by Lobelia Sackville-Baggins herself. She kept trying to get into the spare room-"

"The Sackville-Bagginses _did_ always think there was some secret tunnel back there," Frodo interjected, his eyes twinkling. "I suppose they thought it was overflowing with gold, too." Frodo interjected, his eyes twinkling.

Merry nodded. "Yes, but you wouldn't let them back. They tried all sorts of ways to get past you- she kept treating you like you weren't yet 10, though. Trying to convince you that Bilbo had invited them back there, or that Bilbo had given them a present and left it there. I was plotting on how to bust in and save the day when I felt someone grabbing at the tails of my coat. I turned around and saw a wee little Pip. He couldn't have been more than 6 years old, and he's going on and on about some song his mom had taught him."

"It was a very good song." Pippin said defiantly. "The first I ever learned- and _you_ wouldn't listen to it."

"I thought you didn't remember any of this." Merry rolled his eyes. "I had more important things to do! I tried to stick him on someone else at the party but he was dead set on sticking with me. So I decided to use it to my advantage. I found a tea tray- the one with the best set of wheels, and place Pip dead center on top of all the napkins and place ware. People always worry about little ones- so if they saw Pippin flying through the room on a tea tray, there would probably be an uproar. Or enough a distraction so as to allow me to grab Frodo away from Lobelia. Anyways, I told Pip that we were going to make him the center of attention for a while, and he straightaway went off on that song again. It was such a pretty song- he said- his mommy said it would be great for parties and for getting people's attention. Please Merry, could he sing his song? So I gave in and told Pippin to sing his heart out. In the mean time, I arranged him at the end of the hall, directly across from the main room, and got ready to give him a strong push. He started singing, all high-pitched and squeaky, and I gave a hard shove."

"You pushed him down the hall on a tea tray?" Legolas asked, turning to the youngest hobbit. "And Pippin was not upset by it?"

"Oh no," Merry went on, "He just kept singing. It was going great- the tea tray was closing in on the main room entrance and already folks were beginning to peer into the hall to see what the ruckus was, when Pip got a bit too close to one of the lamps in the wall. One of the napkins was hanging over the side and brushed straight through the flame- obviously, the fire soon was spreading, and hobbit folk were screaming and shouting all over."

"I thought it was quite fun." Pippin piped up. "Until I got in trouble. For some reason they seemed to think it was my fault."

"Wonder why?" Sam whispered to Frodo, causing the older hobbit to smile.

"Yes, sorry about that Pip," Merry said. "Sometimes a sacrifice is necessary to help a friend in need. We did succeed in saving Frodo, though! Lobelia was quite distracted by all the fuss and Frodo and I were able to sneak outside and play in the garden-"

"And a right mess you made," Sam cut in, "Trampling through them flowers. We'd thought a dwarf had come through, or a troll, the way the poor petals were squashed so flat."


End file.
